The Roadway in the Wilderness
The Roadway in the Wilderness
By Joy C.
Since Jan 2016, God kept bringing Isaiah 43:18-19 sporadically for my remembrance:
“Do not call to mind the former things, Or ponder things of the past.
Behold, I will do something new,
Now it will spring forth;
Will you not be aware of it?
I will even make a roadway in the wilderness,
Rivers in the desert.”
With the dealing of my family problems in the backdrop of my mind, I kept asking God, “what is this new thing? Where is the roadway and the rivers? I cannot see it. I don’t understand.” There was no reply from heaven; only a call to hold on to this as a promise.
When I was dealing with a lot of hurtful words that gave me a feeling of unwanted-ness, I would hear Psalm 27:9-10 spoken in my ears:
“For my father and mother have forsaken me,
But the Lord will take me up.”
I understood it as God’s plan to adopt me into His family. I have experienced this as a Christian believe by faith sense. But, overtime, I was not satisfied with this understanding alone. I was looking for physical vindication - an environment where I can no longer hear and be affected by hurtful words. I recalled a recent time being so hurt and angry that I asked God, “I am in so much pain. I feel that I can die anytime now, so what do You mean the Lord will take me up?” It felt like God was silent.
In Feb 2017, I was experiencing intense thoughts of death when it was suddenly interrupted by a vision. I saw myself being chased by a lion without teeth. I thought to myself, “Well, this is it. Let's die.”
Just as that lion was about to pounce on me, I saw another lion with teeth, pouncing from behind. It destroyed the other lion.
Ephesians 6:10 rang in my ears:
“Be strong in the Lord and in the strength of His might.”
I realised that the Lion with teeth - the Lion of Judah who is God Himself - will rescue me from the plans of the enemy. On my part, I am to be strong and put on the full armour of God while waiting for His rescue.
In Feb 2018, I had a dream where the message was about physical vindication. The dream ended with a scene of me being in someone’s home, staying for refuge. The home had a glass door with some brownish curtain. I woke up with a strong sensing that Jesus would rescue me
from the situation of unrest one day.
I thought the physical vindication would come in a form of a rented room as I was definitely overage for the mainstream children / teen’s home, so I started checking websites. Looking at the various priced rooms, I realised I would not be able to afford monthly rent. The whole search caused me to turn back to God, asking if He was playing a joke on me, or if all those promises were just a wishful thinking on my part. I chose to put my trust in God in spite of the lack of understanding.
In mid August last year, a friend forwarded me a picture of the hardcopy newspaper article which featured The Last Resort, commenting that it is “super wow.” As I read bits and pieces, I decided to contact the initiators of the place with the intention to find out if the place was really legit as I was skeptical that there could even be such nice people around. I was also shooting up a prayer towards God, asking if moving out is my last resort, and if this place / the options the initiators would provide is the last resort.
Having been residing here since early September last year, I found myself feeling extremely overwhelmed. I am not used to the feeling of love, acceptance and wanted-ness; having the home’s door wide open for me to come back early from work; eating nice home cooked food as a family; being able to speak freely and hear godly perspective, etc. I thought what I have experienced all those years were supposed to be normal, but I realised that the experiences I am having now is what normal should actually be.
The promises of God I have held onto were mere words previously. It was finally made alive because of the fulfilment through being In this place. This is the roadway in the wilderness; the place where the Lord has taken me up; the rescue and physical vindication from the Lion of Judah. I am thankful that He did not strike me with lightning when I was kicking my legs and doubting Him in anger. If God did not provide the last resort - if this is not God’s doing, I seriously wonder if I would still be present on this earth. God is really a faithful promise keeper, and I am grateful for a place like this.